More than ever I think to myself just how many people I don't ever approach whether it be my usual Friday night outs or even just someone on a bus or train. Okay, the latter might be stretching it since I shouldn't expect to talk to someone each time I'm on a public transport, particularly when I'd rather listen to my iPod to let the journey go by but there's been the odd few that I've seen while travelling that I wish I could have just tried saying hi to for a change.
For Friday nights, while I know a lot of people at The Hotel California already (the rock bar that I go to), I always feel that there's plenty more that I haven't spoken to and am potentially missing out on some great individuals. With me I usually just let others talk to me first so I don't feel like I'm being a bothersome to whoever but I just never know what they think of me until I try talking to them. This isn't to say I always just let others break the ice for me but that's the case most of the time.
For the way I just act like this, I feel it's not a matter of bad at talking to girls but rather it's just being not so great at talking to unfamiliar people in general. Now if I were to be more open to others I think I could do a whole lot better. I want to put this theory into practice for this Friday but chances are I'll probably still be my awkward self and only talk to those I'm familiar with. At least I'll give myself twice the opportunity this week as it's gonna be Saturday night as well and usually I don't go to the Cali often on those nights due to Fridays already and going there then generally has a different crowd. Supposedly one did flirt with me the last time I was there on a Saturday but was so oblivious to it. Shit like that needs to change already.
That brings me to another thing. If there's something I should try and do better with, it's breaking the touch barrier. Now this I won't and shouldn't go overboard on but if I feel I'm getting on well with someone, I ought to see what happens if I take it slightly further. After a few experiences in the past, one thing that's helped is just... cuddling. It might sound big to do but it's worked a few times before and if it gets seen as too much by them, all they need to say is no and that will be it. Sounds simple, doesn't it? If they don't like it, fair enough but if they do... see what happens.
Those are two things I definitely need to work on but facing that shyness of speaking to those that I'm unfamiliar with really needs to be beaten. This is something I definitely learned at MCM Manchester but now I really have to be more outgoing, especially when I have a two week work placement at Marks & Spencer and being all quiet to myself while working is only going to make me fail it so easily. I better be more brave with talking to strangers and with those skills of socialising, perhaps I can improve even more at my night outs.
Some may think I'm fine with the way I am but I want to tweak my personality and if these improvements happen, I'll be a whole lot happier with myself. I will seriously be made up if my confidence greatly improves from the work placement, even if it's only two weeks and I'm not getting paid for it apart from travel and lunch and it's an hour and a half just to get there but hey, it will do for now.
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